"Will I Ever Get Over This Breakup?"
December 19th, 2017
"Every past partner and pain I experienced in my life taught me something about myself as well as taught me how I viewed God and His love for me."
I cannot tell you how many thoughts and emotions I would go through day by day after a break-up. They would change constantly. It’s draining, exhausting and just plain depressing. You go each day wondering if the pain will ever go away and if you will always have the same feelings towards your past partner. Will you go your whole life missing someone, and something, you can never have? Sometimes, that’s how it feels. Sometimes, you even find the feelings ebbing and flowing. One minute you are okay and ready to move on with your life, the next, you find yourself reminiscing and right back where you started.
I remember one particular relationship where I actually broke up with the guy several times. When I look back at it now I honestly feel bad for how I played with him emotionally. I was immature. Didn’t know what I wanted and was just happy that someone loved me and finally committed to me. I critiqued him constantly, trying to make him out to be the guy that I “thought” I wanted. He was honestly very sweet, loyal and accepted me and all of my flaws. However, when you are insecure yourself, you tend to pick out the flaws in everyone else.
The last time we got back together, that time; he left me. And man did it hit me hard. I didn’t expect it at all. He always let me back in and stayed loving me. But this time, something had changed. I end up doing a lot of the things I talk about in the next chapter, which is why I advise to not make these same mistakes. I had to let him go and I struggled.
~“ However, when you are insecure yourself you tend to pick out the flaws in everyone else.” ~
We went to church with each other so I had to always see him. Sometimes I would find myself avoiding church altogether to not see him. I was too emotional and didn’t want to go through seeing him and that hurtful feeling of acting as if we never knew each other. Then I had my days where I would be on cloud nine. Feeling as if it was good we broke up and excited about being free to date new and better. I felt confident and free from the situation. Then the next day, I was back upset and depressed I didn’t have him. It was crazy and I didn’t expect to have such inconsistent feelings. I didn’t know when the hurting would stop and I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.
~But I can tell you how you will get through this. With God; that’s how.~
You will get through this time in your life. I know it’s hard to believe it right now with how you feel. But I promise you; you will. It will take time. It will be hard. But realize this is about more than you healing from this situation. It’s about more than you just getting over this person who hurt you. It’s about more than you getting over this break up so you can jump into another relationship. No mam. This is about you healing, changing your life, patterns and receiving what God has in store for your life. A more abundant life than you had before.
~See, your break up is about more than just your relationship life. It’s a reflection of things going on with you internally.~
Thoughts you have about yourself. Beliefs that you have about love and fulfillment. Values you carry about your life and your worth. Every past partner and pain I experienced in my life taught me something about myself as well as taught me how I viewed God and His love for me. I realized that my breakups were teaching me about so much more than my relationship life, but my heart and spiritual condition. Everything that you are going through. Everything that you have experienced. It’s teaching you something. It’s revealing truths you have about yourself and life. There are so many things I know now that I wish I could go back to my past self and tell. Oh, I wish. God, there are so many things I could have avoided, yet, God used them for my good.
Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
~This is about you healing, changing your life, patterns and receiving what God has in store for your life.~
Right now, I am sure you are just ready to feel okay. You want to stop thinking about your past and just move on with your life. You are probably irritated that you aren’t over it yet and wondering just how long this will take. Well, I am here to tell you now; it is a process. There is no rushing to healing. There is no rushing in changing and transformation. There isn’t a button you can push that will make you just completely forget them and move on. We do serve an all-powerful God that can miraculously heal you in a second, but the reality is, God rarely works that way. He is all about pruning us. Changing us. Helping us learn through the process and ultimately; drawing us closer to Him.
I know how hard this is for you. I’ve been there and I know how important it is to have someone with you during this time to talk to and walk with you through the process. I am hoping to be that for you, through God’s wisdom and spirit, and give you a lending ear. A discerning spirit. And a hopeful heart. Assurance that one day; everything will be okay. God comforted me during my time and I hope to do the same for you.
2 Corinthians 1:4 “Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
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The Rubies Blog is dedicated to those who are hoping to heal and move forward from past relationships. In conjunction with the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Session Guide, I will have a continuous post of writing excerpts as you go through the process. Each post will be a continuation of the writing as you move along your session guide. Moving on from a relationship can be hard for anyone. I hope here to provide support during this time and bring healing & comfort in your situation.
“I honestly never understood why I kept going through the same bad relationships over and over again. Until I took the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Sessions. This session opened my eyes to my own responsibility in healing & having the healthy relationships I deserved. Thank you so much, Chloe for these sessions! You are God sent!” –Ashley Y.
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