Where Are You Now

"Where Are You Now"

November 16th, 2017

Devastated. Upset. Hurt. Broken. Betrayed. I am sure these are just a fraction of the many emotions you are going through right now or have gone through during this breakup. Some of your emotions, you probably can’t even find the words to convey what you are feeling. You want the feeling to go away. You want the agony of missing them to leave your spirit and mind. Needing them and not having them there is the worst thing you are probably feeling right now. You miss the conversations and the time you spent together. You miss having someone in your life that made you feel loved, wanted and valued.

There is nothing like having the security of a relationship. It’s something about being taken that fills a void in your life that I think everyone wants to fill. It’s nice knowing you have someone you can depend on and loves you no matter what. Or at least that’s what you thought you had. For me, that was always the hardest part of leaving a relationship. You felt there was a security there and you can’t figure out how you got here. Single. Heartbroken. Back to square one. It saddens you to think of going back into the dating world again hoping to find the love you thought you had in them. You think of going through the process of getting to know someone again and getting to the place of comfort and it drains you just thinking about it. You don’t want to go back to that world again. Single. Dating. Trying to find the one you love.

You start questioning yourself. What did you do wrong? What did you miss in the relationship that possibly could have prevented you from getting here? What could you have done to keep you all together? You keep playing back over and over again what was done to you trying to understand how you ended up in that type of relationship. You can’t quite understand how anyone could treat you this way. Beyond that, you can’t understand how they could do it and feel no remorse.

How is that possible for them to do that? You were so in love with them and would never do anything to intentionally hurt them. You can’t imagine treating them that way. Never. It isn’t who you are and you don’t understand how this could be who they are. It’s hard for you to believe that this is the person they were the whole time. You just can’t grasp that. You want to remember them as the sweet boyfriend they were before. The gentle guy who took you out on your first date. The handsome guy who dressed up just to impress you. The guy that would apologize relentlessly anytime they knew they hurt you. What happened to him? Was he never truly this guy and it was just a sham the entire time? Maybe he changed and stopped loving you? Or even worse, there was someone else. That thought in itself makes you want to run away and hide for days. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I wanted to do more than just run away.....................

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