Rubies Healing & Letting Go

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Will I Ever Get Over This Breakup?

"Will I Ever Get Over This Breakup?"

December 19th, 2017

"Every past partner and pain I experienced in my life taught me something about myself as well as taught me how I viewed God and His love for me."

I cannot tell you how many thoughts and emotions I would go through day by day after a break-up. They would change constantly. It’s draining, exhausting and just plain depressing. You go each day wondering if the pain will ever go away and if you will always have the same feelings towards your past partner. Will you go your whole life missing someone, and something, you can never have? Sometimes, that’s how it feels. Sometimes, you even find the feelings ebbing and flowing. One minute you are okay and ready to move on with your life, the next, you find yourself reminiscing and right back where you started.

I remember one particular relationship where I actually broke up with the guy several times. When I look back at it now I honestly feel bad for how I played with him emotionally. I was immature. Didn’t know what I wanted and was just happy that someone loved me and finally committed to me. I critiqued him constantly, trying to make him out to be the guy that I “thought” I wanted. He was honestly very sweet, loyal and accepted me and all of my flaws. However, when you are insecure yourself, you tend to pick out the flaws in everyone else.

The last time we got back together, that time; he left me. And man did it hit me hard. I didn’t expect it at all. He always let me back in and stayed loving me. But this time, something had changed. I end up doing a lot of the things I talk about in the next chapter, which is why I advise to not make these same mistakes. I had to let him go and I struggled.

~“ However, when you are insecure yourself you tend to pick out the flaws in everyone else.” ~

We went to church with each other so I had to always see him. Sometimes I would find myself avoiding church altogether to not see him. I was too emotional and didn’t want to go through seeing him and that hurtful feeling of acting as if we never knew each other. Then I had my days where I would be on cloud nine. Feeling as if it was good we broke up and excited about being free to date new and better. I felt confident and free from the situation. Then the next day, I was back upset and depressed I didn’t have him. It was crazy and I didn’t expect to have such inconsistent feelings. I didn’t know when the hurting would stop and I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.

~But I can tell you how you will get through this. With God; that’s how.~

You will get through this time in your life. I know it’s hard to believe it right now with how you feel. But I promise you; you will. It will take time. It will be hard. But realize this is about more than you healing from this situation. It’s about more than you just getting over this person who hurt you. It’s about more than you getting over this break up so you can jump into another relationship. No mam. This is about you healing, changing your life, patterns and receiving what God has in store for your life. A more abundant life than you had before.

~See, your break up is about more than just your relationship life. It’s a reflection of things going on with you internally.~

Thoughts you have about yourself. Beliefs that you have about love and fulfillment. Values you carry about your life and your worth. Every past partner and pain I experienced in my life taught me something about myself as well as taught me how I viewed God and His love for me. I realized that my breakups were teaching me about so much more than my relationship life, but my heart and spiritual condition. Everything that you are going through. Everything that you have experienced. It’s teaching you something. It’s revealing truths you have about yourself and life. There are so many things I know now that I wish I could go back to my past self and tell. Oh, I wish. God, there are so many things I could have avoided, yet, God used them for my good.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

~This is about you healing, changing your life, patterns and receiving what God has in store for your life.~

Right now, I am sure you are just ready to feel okay. You want to stop thinking about your past and just move on with your life. You are probably irritated that you aren’t over it yet and wondering just how long this will take. Well, I am here to tell you now; it is a process. There is no rushing to healing. There is no rushing in changing and transformation. There isn’t a button you can push that will make you just completely forget them and move on. We do serve an all-powerful God that can miraculously heal you in a second, but the reality is, God rarely works that way. He is all about pruning us. Changing us. Helping us learn through the process and ultimately; drawing us closer to Him.

I know how hard this is for you. I’ve been there and I know how important it is to have someone with you during this time to talk to and walk with you through the process. I am hoping to be that for you, through God’s wisdom and spirit, and give you a lending ear. A discerning spirit. And a hopeful heart. Assurance that one day; everything will be okay. God comforted me during my time and I hope to do the same for you.

2 Corinthians 1:4 “Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

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Missed "Where Are You Now - Part II? Click Here to Read

The Rubies Blog is dedicated to those who are hoping to heal and move forward from past relationships. In conjunction with the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Session Guide, I will have a continuous post of writing excerpts as you go through the process. Each post will be a continuation of the writing as you move along your session guide. Moving on from a relationship can be hard for anyone. I hope here to provide support during this time and bring healing & comfort in your situation.

“I honestly never understood why I kept going through the same bad relationships over and over again. Until I took the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Sessions. This session opened my eyes to my own responsibility in healing & having the healthy relationships I deserved. Thank you so much, Chloe for these sessions! You are God sent!” –Ashley Y.

Session Guides are all under $10!

To Learn More About the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Session Guide, Click Here.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Where Are You Now? Part II

"Where You Are Now"

PART II

November 25th, 2017

“If you end up in the same situation with different guys, you are the only common denominator.”

The type of emotions that come out of you when a relationship has gone astray can sometimes astound you. You truly realize how deep you are in a relationship when it ends. That’s when you see just how much you loved them and depended on the relationship and you find yourself trying to think of any way possible to get it back. You keep thinking that maybe there is something you can do to change the situation, or maybe if you keep playing it back, convince your mind to believe what you think actually happened.

Maybe there is something you can do to get you all back together to take away the pain? The pain of missing them, needing them and just wanting to hear their voice. You check your phone, email, and social media incessantly. Every time your phone rings, you hope it’s them. Every time you hear that text notification, you pray it's them. You go on social media accounts looking at every post and picture. Wondering if they are feeling just as miserable as you are in hopes they will realize they need you too. You find yourself looking at your old photos and reminiscing about your memories and conversations. That road trip you all took together for the first time. You all’s first valentine’s day together at your favorite restaurant. The gift they got you for Christmas that they saved up for all year. The first time you met their family and just knew you would fit right in. Reminiscing back to when everything was okay and when they still made you smile. When they made you laugh. When they made you feel; loved. Holding on to every memory you have hoping it truly isn’t the end, but sadly; it is.

I’ve had these same feelings time after time in my life. I’ve been right where you are so many times, and each time, I found myself getting more and more upset after each heartache. But not only with the one who hurt me, but myself. I couldn’t understand why and how I got to that place again. Once again, hurt by a guy that I gave everything to. My love. My affection. My heart. My time. My everything. I remember asking myself so many questions and doubting myself in many areas. I didn’t understand how someone I loved so much could treat me like I was nothing. Just walk away as if we didn’t have a connection. As if I simply was an accessory in their life that could be easily replaced.

I had given so much to them and they meant so much to me, why didn’t they feel the same way? Why didn’t they need me just as much as I needed them? Though the questions were valid, the main thing I needed to pay attention to was the fact that I ended up in these situations several times. No matter who the guy was, the relationship seemed to take the same course as all the others. Instead of focusing on this truth, I found myself focusing on outside causes. After a little while, you become numb and possibly even find yourself angry with God. You begin to blame forces outside of yourself as to why this keeps happening. All you wanted was love. All you wanted was to be cared for, and a man who was loyal and desired the same commitment as you. You start to think the world or God is against you and your desire. But, if you end up in the same situation with different guys, you are the only common denominator. Therefore, something in you needs to change.......Don't want to miss Part II? Click Here to subscribe to the "Rubies Blog"

Missed "Where Are You Now - Part I? Click Here to Read

“I honestly never understood why I kept going through the same bad relationships over and over again. Until I took the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Sessions. This session opened my eyes to my own responsibility in healing & having the healthy relationships I deserved. Thank you so much Chloe for these sessions! You are God sent!” –Ashley Y.

Session Guides are all under $10!

To Learn More About the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Session Guide, Click Here.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Where Are You Now

"Where Are You Now"

November 16th, 2017

Devastated. Upset. Hurt. Broken. Betrayed. I am sure these are just a fraction of the many emotions you are going through right now or have gone through during this breakup. Some of your emotions, you probably can’t even find the words to convey what you are feeling. You want the feeling to go away. You want the agony of missing them to leave your spirit and mind. Needing them and not having them there is the worst thing you are probably feeling right now. You miss the conversations and the time you spent together. You miss having someone in your life that made you feel loved, wanted and valued.

There is nothing like having the security of a relationship. It’s something about being taken that fills a void in your life that I think everyone wants to fill. It’s nice knowing you have someone you can depend on and loves you no matter what. Or at least that’s what you thought you had. For me, that was always the hardest part of leaving a relationship. You felt there was a security there and you can’t figure out how you got here. Single. Heartbroken. Back to square one. It saddens you to think of going back into the dating world again hoping to find the love you thought you had in them. You think of going through the process of getting to know someone again and getting to the place of comfort and it drains you just thinking about it. You don’t want to go back to that world again. Single. Dating. Trying to find the one you love.

You start questioning yourself. What did you do wrong? What did you miss in the relationship that possibly could have prevented you from getting here? What could you have done to keep you all together? You keep playing back over and over again what was done to you trying to understand how you ended up in that type of relationship. You can’t quite understand how anyone could treat you this way. Beyond that, you can’t understand how they could do it and feel no remorse.

How is that possible for them to do that? You were so in love with them and would never do anything to intentionally hurt them. You can’t imagine treating them that way. Never. It isn’t who you are and you don’t understand how this could be who they are. It’s hard for you to believe that this is the person they were the whole time. You just can’t grasp that. You want to remember them as the sweet boyfriend they were before. The gentle guy who took you out on your first date. The handsome guy who dressed up just to impress you. The guy that would apologize relentlessly anytime they knew they hurt you. What happened to him? Was he never truly this guy and it was just a sham the entire time? Maybe he changed and stopped loving you? Or even worse, there was someone else. That thought in itself makes you want to run away and hide for days. Trust me, I’ve been there, and I wanted to do more than just run away.....................

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Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Welcome to Rubies Healing & Letting Go : Introduction

Hi My Ruby!

I am so excited that you are taking the first step to healing and letting go. God has so much in store for you and He is eager to heal you and replace your pain with peace and joy. He has seen every tear. He knows that you are struggling to move forward after your heartbreak. He also knows that you are struggling with letting go of what others have done to you. He has heard every prayer request and has seen every tear.

Psalm 18: 6

"In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears."

He truly does care. I have been through so much in my life and the only reason I am here today is because of God being by my side. I have gone through heartbreaks. I have gone through liars, cheaters, and deceivers. I have been through breakups and a divorce. I have come across people who took advantage of my love though I gave them my all. I know how it can feel when you give your best to others and it seems you only get hurt in return. I've been there and I want to be there for you. Most of all, I want you to realize how much God is here for you.

There are so many things I wish I knew when I went through my heartaches and so many times I felt alone and had no hope . I don't want you to feel that way. It's my desire that you have support and have a place to express your feelings without judgment. I want to help you just as God, and others, helped me.

2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Though you may feel you haven't received love from others, know that you have always been loved this entire time; by God. He loves you so much and He has always been there with you in every situation. He is key in this process and you have to acknowledge that He is there with you.

Each step will open your eyes to things you need to let go of as well as things that you need to change within yourself. Some steps will be easy, while others may be hard. But know that each step will guide you to the best you. To help you look within so you can change your environment and future outcomes. I know you desire to have love in your life, peace and healing. God wants you to have those things as well and I pray that this group will help you get there.

In each post there will be a Lesson, Prayer and Declaration for the Week. Each post will also charge you with an assignment to do for the week to help you reflect and make immediate changes in your life. I pray that during this time you truly reflect on your past, present and hopeful future. I also hope that you begin each day communicating with God about your present feelings and aspirations. As I instructed in the group, please ensure to purchase a journal during this time. I will be praying for you my ruby.

"When you heal and change for the better you will attract better."

Until Next Time,

God Bless & Always Praying for You!

-Chloe M. Gooden-

www.chloemgooden.com

If you haven't joined the Rubies Healing & Letting Go Group yet, here is the link : https://www.facebook.com/groups/1664544490444259/

Simply click and ask to join. Joining of the group is a great way to join a community of other women in the same place as you are! Join us for support, healing, prayer and conversation!
God Bless!